A Bit About Work

sweerve

Alright. Still riding the “post as frequently as I can” wave – just getting a little better at defining my rough schedule for this thing. Weekends are a bit busier for me, so I think I’ll keep my posts primarily rolling out during the week – see how that goes for me.

It’s 12:08 AM at the time of me writing this, on a beautiful 18th of July afternoon. I went a little too hard on a punching bag workout, and I feel like I’m going to barf.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

To get some meager pocket money, I work at a supermarket as a cashier. It’s not the only thing I have going on – I’m taking classes over at Rutgers, working on my own writing projects, writing for this blog, trying to snag internships, taking photos to post on my Instagram, playing Pokemon Go with everyone else, and KILLING it in Rocket League. But for the time being, scanning groceries is my job.

It’s what I do to be able to afford car payments, being out and about with friends, and alcohol, and I definitely don’t think it’s HARD WORK. And I’ve had a lot of time to think about that last statement.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel tired after a long shift. My legs ache from being on my feet for hours on end, my voice gets hoarse from repeating the same canned phrases over and over, and let me tell you -the dull *BEEP* of the scanners in the store are starting to bleed into the space between waking and sleeping – all Tell-Tale Heart like. But work for me boils down to lifting bags, cans, and boxes of foodstuff over a terminal scanner and shuffling it on down the line. It’s mindless drone work that, often, sort of gets relegated to the control of my peripheral mind while I’m making conversation with some of my regulars. It’s not challenging – so I’ve got no reason to complain about it like a lot of the people who work there tend to.

I think the main source of my ire for my part-time job is the slice of pie that my shifts there represent. Really, I’m not entirely miffed by any particular thing that happens while I’m wearing my shirt and apron. If customers are assholes, I never see them again. If the day gets hectic, that’s fine – it’s over soon enough. If management tries to flex, I’ve got no pride banked on my position with them, so they’ve got nothing over me. All in all, I think it’s just the time factor that tends to get to me sometimes. Six and a half hours per shift is a decent chunk of my day where I could be doing literally anything else. I could be working on more blog posts, signing up for more internships, working on my book, spending time with my friends – that’s what gets to me. The fact that my need to have pocket money takes resources out of the pool of time I need to actualize what I want.

But the beauty of that is that – reasoning notwithstanding – that’s STILL A MINOR GRIPE. The reality stands that this job is by no means who I am, nor does it altogether prevent me from actualizing what that is. And I wish that a lot of my co-workers could see that for for themselves. There are so many young twenty-somethings that work there, even a few thirty-somethings that are so weighed down by that logo-ed shirt they don for a few hours a few days of the week. It’s as if the experience is stunting them somehow – that the store is some kind of retail purgatory that’s got them in its grip, refusing to let them go. But there isn’t any shame in fulfilling necessity – as long as you don’t lose sight of the things ahead you’re really working towards.

To all my disgruntled retail drones out there – don’t forget that the uniform you hate so much isn’t the only outfit in that closet of yours. Do what you have to do to get comfortable, but don’t you EVER lose yourself along the way. Stay focused. Stay inspired. Get out there and make something.

You’ve got the time.

 

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A Bit About Work

[AudioCoffee]: To Be Heard

 

This creative space is

stifling –

you’ve got all this room to

trickle water out into the void

but the ocean stretches out forever

and you’re fucking about with the sink.

It’s sending paper airplanes with

poems written on them off clifftops

hoping someone’ll snatch them up,

except you’re the one person on the planet,

and you should really be trying

to punch holes in the goddamn atomosphere.

[AudioCoffee]: To Be Heard

A Modest Venture

Before things get started around here, I figure I should take a moment to really introduce the concrete side of what Fernway does. I find myself chuckling whenever I try to call it a company, and it comes across sounding cult-y if I call it a group. In its most literal sense, Fernway is a YouTube channel that I started with my friend Patrick around February of this year. It’s a tiny channel that still only has one video on it: a modestly shot tribute to the town we’ve called home for nearly all our lives.  Since then, we’ve been working hard on project number two, an ordeal of slightly larger scope, but still with similar thematic choices to the first. It’s a bit more work intensive, but it’s getting done, little by little.

Now I may have the order a bit skewed here, being that Patrick was taking pictures before we started the YouTube channel and I only really started afterwards, but it feels to me at least that testing the waters of tromping around town and taking pictures and videos of everything really sparked my interest in taking pictures. Eventually, I found myself commandeering my father’s Rebel T1i camera, paying out for a Adobe Photoshop and Lightroom subscription, and posting whatever I worked on to Instagram. Patrick and I both post up photos often, but I’m pretty sure the guy’s got at least three or four times more followers than I do. If you ever get the chance, definitely give the guy’s page a look. He’s come a long way in such a short amount of time. Or you could toss my page a spare glance. Maybe. Please?

But more to the point, I’ve been thinking lately that Fernway is more than just the FernwayFilms YouTube channel. It’s more of a network of creativity and expression that we plan to lay out with every new piece of work we put out there for people to see. Videos, photos, and even the contents of this blog all have their place in this figurative collage we’re laying out…all working towards making something, anything, resonate in whatever audience we reach.

This is what we’ve chosen to put our talents and our time into. Sitting here right now, I don’t even know if it’ll pay off in the end. But that’s not something that comes even remotely close to making me second guess this modest venture. Right now, I know it’s just something I love doing.

What else matters?

A Modest Venture

I’m the Dizzy One

Introductions, introductions. They’ve always been a bit of a weird thing for me to write, being that it’s just all too tempting to just slap my work up there without prompt or prelude – sort of a shout into the void just for the sake of shouting. Writing up until this point has always been that sort of thing for me – something I just do for the sake of doing. Something I do because it’s something that I’ve always had what I consider to be a decent level of talent at. It’s always seemed so romantic, so grand, the idea of being a sort of creator. A crafter of worlds, like some sort of spiritual heir to the people long gone that would gather the waiting and curious around campfires or the sides of busy streets and capture their imaginations with words. I’ve always wanted to be the storyteller – the voice that holds the listener captive.

But the game has changed, and there are more voices out there now. Everyone has a story to tell, and the very idea of being heard seems more like a toil and struggle instead of a personal promise. It’s only been recently that I’ve realized that personally, I’ve needed (for lack of a better way of saying it) a goal to focus my goal. Something to work towards while still fixating on that far-off point in the distance of “be a good writer”. That’s what Fernway is for me.

Fernway being, well, all of this. This blog, the FernwayFilms YouTube channel, and both the Tacticalsnaptical and Dizzycadence Instagram pages – all of it serves as the creative outlet for myself and Patrick, my partner in crime with this venture. It’s a minuscule blip on the radar of the world right now, but it’s what we intend to pour both our individual passions into – this creative center that we want anyone to be able to enjoy and appreciate.

Here’s to starting in earnest and telling stories.

I’m the Dizzy One